As my male coworker and I stepped into the entrance of the ‘love’ motel, we both hesitated, looked at each other with the same look of horror and thought, “Is this the right place?” We had just entered through the only opening we could find, slicing through strips of hanging rubber curtains, similar to what one encounters in a drive-through car wash: wide rubber strips that fall onto the front and top of the car and rotates back and forth to wash the dirt off the car. Only this was no car wash, but rather our hotel for the next two weeks.
We tugged our luggage up the two high concrete steps, covered in green astro-turf, and entered a dark and dingy hallway that reminded me of those places in the movies where drug addicts shoot up, homeless folk try to find a warm corner to escape the wind or where discerning dogs pass by on their way to find a suitable place to relieve themselves. Dogs don’t just poop anywhere, do they? The only visible light shone from behind a small glass window, where an old woman was sitting watching television, smoking a cigarette and listening to the barks of a small yapping dog. My initial instinct was to run out of there and look for another hotel. However, our work had arranged for a group of us to stay at this hotel and not knowing any better and being in a new city, I just followed my coworker as he proceeded to get registered and obtain his keys. Registration is the wrong word because the only thing the lady asked was, “25,000 won or 35,000 won?” He asked what the difference was and she replied, “35,00 won for bigger and nicer room.” Our hotel per diem only allowed up to 25,000 won but he opted for the more expensive room and I did the same. Instead of paying for the entire two weeks as we had been told to do, I paid for five nights, thinking that I would check out on Friday and spend the weekend, on my own dime, in a nicer hotel. Note to self: Never ever ever pay more than for one night’s stay at a love motel in Korea. Never!
The dark and ubiquitous carpet stains, what would have been left behind after a bloody scene from a Quentin Taratino movie, should have been a harbinger of what was hidden behind the individual rooms, but I was tired, weary and just wanted to go to bed. If I could have taken off my contact lenses before I entered the room and kept my field of vision blurred, I suppose I never would have noticed the little things that disrupted my sleep that night. Granted the room was tacky with a capital T, but I can deal with tacky, as long as it’s clean.

Round red bed in a red-lit room
First I unpacked my things so that I could hang up my clothes. That’s when I realized that a closet was missing. I checked both the living room, the bedroom and the bathroom but there was nothing resembling a closet anywhere. The only hanging apparatus was a few nails in the wall opposite the bed, from which two wire hangers were swinging askew. I quadruple loaded my shirts/pants on the two wire hangers and did my best to try and keep them from falling. As I examined my clothes hanging on the wall, I realized that the colors were all wrong. I looked up and realized that the overhead lights in the bedroom were red, muting everything and making it difficult to see much of the details in the room. I turned around from the ‘wall closet’ and looked down at the round bed. From a distance the white sheets looked clean but as I got closer and examined the sheets more closely, I discovered various stains and bits of hair, of various lengths, left over from the previous occupants. My face scrunched up into such a grimace that I could barely see the rest of the room. Yuck! I should have just quit then.
I left the red-light district of the round red bed and checked out the conditions in the living room. Aside from the television, and an old fan, which made me try to recollect the last time I had stayed in a motel room with a standing fan, one wall of the living room was lined with a long mirrored dresser. When I tried to open a drawer, I realized that it was all a facade. No drawers really existed; it was completely hollow and empty behind the fake front. If I had taken a hair brush and tapped the front of the dresser, the facade would have easily splintered apart. Luckily, before I could picked up the hair brush, which was provided in the room, I looked down and saw that the brush was filled with hair and whatever else was basking in its glory. Obviously, someone had used the brush and no one had bothered to clean it. Double yuck!!
To the right of the dresser and underneath the television, stood a refrigerator. I opened it up, expecting some dead animal to roll onto my feet but instead, the inside shelves and sides were free of dead animals but not free of stains, splotches and, again, more pieces of dark hair. Obviously, the tenant before me had a lot of hair they no longer needed and decided to leave them behind. I had brought some fruits with me and since the wall unit A/C was humming out a tune of warm, fetid air, I knew that the fruits would get bad real quick if I did not refrigerate them. I carefully lined the insides of the refrigerator with toilet paper that I found in the bathroom and after I was sure that every exposed space of the refrigerator was adequately covered with thick layers of toilet paper did I lay my carrots, celery and apples in the refrigerator to rest.

Flooding bathroom
I won’t go into the gory details of the bathroom but let’s just say that the common theme of displayed hair continued as did numerous stains and cracks in the bathtub and sink. The sink counter was well decorated with dried toothpaste stains that made me wonder if the last person to use the room had done so months prior and no one had thought to wipe off the counter since. The tube of opened toothpaste, provided in the room, remained unused by me, as did the opened jars of lotion, hair gel, shampoo and conditioner.
I didn’t sleep well that night. Although the blackened windows, which are typical of love motels, blocked out the street lamps and neon signs, and provided a nice dark room, I could not relax and surrender myself to sleep. Consequently, when my cellphone alarm went off at 4:55 am, I felt tired but relieved that I could get up and get out of there. Did I survive the rest of the week?
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